Yesterday afternoon and evening were a bit better. Dad was very much dad-like again, which is always a comfort. And according to Mom, who wrote me a nice note before crashing out to catch some sleep, his night went much better as well. He slept more easily, and for longer stretches of time, and his respiration stayed in a good level. She’s confident enough to try and work tonight… good deal, considering yesterday morning she was thinking of taking a leave of absence to keep a closer eye on him. He should be able to come home Monday as planned.
Wish I could say the same for my night. I came home, sat in the car for a while, left again, came back, had a beer, and then had a mild panic attack. Which wouldn’t have been such a bad thing had I not been on the phone at the time. I needed the release, without worrying about reigning it in for the benefit of party-two. He wanted to stay on the phone with me. I got nagged about hanging up, he wanted to stay that much. I guess that should be a comfort, but… I don’t know. There’s a very, very delicate balance between “leave me the fuck alone” and “please don’t go”. A sort of, please be there, allow me the comfort of knowing you’re there, but don’t be so present that I should worry about what you’re thinking when I need to worry about calming myself down. I guess it’ll take some practice.
After that episode, and after I had fully recovered (took about an hour?), the night went alright. Still feeling a bit overwhelmed by this whole mess of life, but the worst of it has been expelled. Like having a zit on yer ass, I reckon. The pressure is off but it’s still going to hurt for a bit.
In other news, thanks to Kev’s inquisitiveness, I found out that Peter Heppner has indeed released his solo effort, imaginatively titled “Solo”. International release dates are, unfortunately, still being negotiated. But with the glory of the Inter-tube, who needs international release dates? Soulseek to the rescue! It’s not as great as Wolfsheim — only a few songs pack a somewhat similar sort of punch — but it’s still pretty good. ‘Alleinesein’ was probably his best choice for a debut single, and definitely my favourite. ‘No Matter What It Takes’ is also pretty striking. The rest? Well, it’s going to take some time to bond with.