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The more I think about it, the more I want to say…
I am not a statistic. I am not some number that should be pitied or nannied. I am not some figure that can be thrown around to prove a case of fabricated “truths” against someone and their business.
I am a living, breathing, bleeding human being. Not only have I been shoved into one side of this arguement by you against my will, and been outright lied to… I’ve also just been used.
You tell me that the jokes aren’t funny, but you turn around and point me out, without ever saying my name, with numbers. That offends me more than a reddit meme ever could.
For anyone who would dare silence a person because you don’t like the way they cope with a very real trauma, and on behalf of all the other victims who have been offended by this recent outburst: Fuck you.
EDIT: I just caught wind of what, apparently, “normal survivors” do to cope. Once more, we’re faced with total ignorance on the subject. More silencing. More fear of judgement. It just astounds me how people can impose their thoughts of how someone “should” deal with being victimized, forcing the victims into a proverbial corner all over again. It absolutely sickens and terrifies me.
I had to add this quote from a group I’m in, because it’s just so brilliant, “So EVERY SINGLE RAPE CRISIS GROUP IS JUST A BUNCH OF WOMEN and MEN BRAGGING????”
Apparently so!
EDIT 2/22/12: The individual who made this comment has since apologized. I greatly appreciate and accept the gesture. I sincerely hope that anyone else who has made such statements, whether intentional or not, also realizes and offers an apology for all those who have been hurt.
EDIT #2: The post in question has been edited, however, I and other enraged victims refuse to let this slide. As such, I am posting this image for context:
EDIT 02/23/12: I find it entirely interesting and extremely disheartening that absolutely no statement of apology has been issued by the blogger in question. When I approached her and told her my feelings on her using rape as a platform from which to lambast someone, all she said was that she “removed that from [the] post as it was taking away from [her] intent.” Not because she knew it was wrong to use rape as an arguement against someone and something entirely unrelated. Not because she was remorseful about the people she hurt. It was removed because she didn’t like being called out on it. And now, we wait. I and a good number of others simply wait for her to apologize for denying us he right to heal in our own way, and for using our trauma as a way to bring down somebody’s business. I have a bad feeling that this apology will never be received, as now the entire post has been deleted, comments and all – it’s easier on the ego to hide from your mistakes than it is to own up to them, I suppose.
But hiding what happened does not change what has been done.
Leave a reply
Amanda
February 21st, 2012 at 23:00
Fuck yes, Miss Bekka. <3
Nikki
February 21st, 2012 at 23:36
Good for you for posting this <3
Snarky
February 22nd, 2012 at 01:45
Do not take my words and twist them around to satisfy your sick need to try and jump in on this while you can get the attention.
I did NOT mean the words as you twist them. And I made it a point to reference people I personally have interacted with- my mistake simply was unintentionally making it a blanket statement.
Miss Bekka
February 22nd, 2012 at 02:11
I’m not “jumping in” on this. I was dragged into this situation a long time ago. And I kept largely silent about it until it came down to this point.
The people you have personally interacted with cope in their own ways. They are not “normal” ways for “normal” people. If you have spoken with enough people on the subject, volunteered at a rape crisis center, or were victimized yourself, you’d know that there is no such thing as a “normal” way to cope, and you’d understand why the suggestion is so harmful and offensive.
Since you have admitted that you made this statement, the best thing you can possibly do is apologize for it. That shouldn’t be so hard as they were unintentional, correct? I’m certain the apology would be appreciated and accepted by anyone and everyone who was hurt by your remarks.
Snarky
February 22nd, 2012 at 10:38
I’ve kept my silence all these months as well. I didn’t want it to come to a head like this, but it has.
I’ve been targeted for months, haven’t said a word- instead taking the high road and NOT telling anyone what’s been going on. I’ve finally had enough as well. I’m not trying to make enemies, and I’m sincerely sorry that I made an unintentional blanket statement that was interpreted incorrectly. It’s my fault, since I didn’t clearly say what I was trying to convey. I’ve apologized for it.
On the subject of dealing with an assault, I do speak with firsthand knowledge. I have had counseling. I have had help.
My intention was NOT to offend you, or anyone else. I don’t know what else I can say to convey that- I’m sorry.
And Amanda, please don’t twist my words around to say I think anyone who shares their story is “bragging” online about what happened to them. That’s not what I said, intended, or would ever say because that’s just STUPID to make a statement as such. I didn’t and haven’t named names, I will not, but I don’t play the “Well my story is worse than yours” game- which it’s come down to. There’s been a few people I thought were “friends” whom I’ve opened up to, they’ve more or less belittled me, laughed and have come back with stories that were “bigger and better” than my own. I’ve stayed silent while they laugh behind my back full well knowing what’s being said about me. Whether or not you believe my intentions were malicious or not is your decision to make- but I did NOT mean for my comment to be interpreted the way it was and has been. I’m sorry for wording it not quite the right way. I don’t ever think someone should suffer through an assault, or multiple ones, but in reality- it happens. Every day. I’d never wish it upon my worst enemy.
I’m sorry you girls feel this way and I’ve upset you.
Bekka
February 22nd, 2012 at 18:33
Thank you for that, Snarky P. Honestly and sincerely, thank you. It’s too easy to get caught up in the rage of the moment and say horrible things without even thinking of it. We’re all guilty of that – myself included. And having some time away from it today has given me enough breath and calm to sincerely say that I am also sorry for whatever I have said to – and about – anyone caught in this whole giant clusterfuck of a situation.
Amanda
February 22nd, 2012 at 02:19
Also requesting an apology for saying that people who were sharing their outrage and experiences were doing it to “brag about it in online forums or advertise the fact it happened to them”. Sharing stories is encouraged to promote healing, as you’d know if you’d had any firsthand experience with counseling or being counseled for the issue.
eight
February 22nd, 2012 at 13:01
This whole thing makes me sick. So sick that they are twisting what is a silly joke, and yes, COPING MECHANISM into something else to ruin companies’ image. Fuck you all very much. They’re a bunch of hypocrites and I’m sick of this bullfuckery brought on by someone who is crying for attention, who bashes the very same people she kisses the asses of.
You people know who you are. Get frelled.